My brother from another mother – Peter Dinklage
My brother from another mother – Peter Dinklage
Peter Dinklage, the actor who has portrayed Tyrion Lannister of Game of Thrones said those words to Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and the time I heard this sentence I realized it was also defining some of my relationships as well. Peter was literally interpreting my feelings. For years now, when someone asks me why haven’t I gave a sibling to my son, my answer has always been “I hope he will meet friends who will eventually become his brothers and sisters.” Is this possible or how this is possible?
Personally, I never believed that DNA is forming our families, this is not correct for me. I have my biological mother and father as we all do, but I also have a second mother who is way closer to me as a mum and I can say we had / still have a mother-daughter relationship since the day I born, where we were never able to build this kind of relationship with my biological mum. I also have a mother in law and I am so lucky to have her in my life because she is definitely a mother to me as well. Obviously, there is no DNA involved in neither of these cases.
On the other hand, both I and my husband have siblings but we also have friends’ way closer that we call them our family too. After spending years and years together, being there for each other in good and in bad times, helping each other whenever we needed, or calling each other instead of calling our DNA holders made us family.
Once I’ve been asked how long my longest friendship is, my answer was instant, my longest friendship is old as I am. We have been put together in a cradle and even if spaces get in our ways during all these years we’re never separated, distances couldn’t separate us, our marriages didn’t put a distance between us, even the longest communication interruptions didn’t do that and we still stand together as sisters.
These persons are not coming into our lives coincidently and no one forced us to build this kind of strong relationships. Friendship requires lots of work and time, needs to be valued, to be loved and respected. I always try to value my beautiful people in my life and never hesitate to make time for them, I keep nurturing our relationship all the time. If this is reciprocal than the friendship turns into something stronger and this is how you become a family.
After living somehow together for 20, 30, 40 years, sharing everything despite the spaces separating you is it still possible to call it just friendship? There is your biological brother or sister with whom you just speak a couple of times in a year only for the special occasions who doesn’t know what’s going on with your life and there is your friend who knows everything about you and keeps in touch no matter what, is it fair to call him / her just friend because of a lack of DNA?
My simple answer is NO, my family is the one I formed with my beloved ones, who has always been and will be there for me, who has my back, the one I call whenever I need, sometimes just for laughing together and who calls me back when he/she needs anything, the one I call or be called for sharing happiness or sadness, the one who shares everything with me and I share anything with him/her, the one who I feel right beside me even if I’m thousands of miles away. It’s not easy to become a family, to have families all around the world, to love them, to miss them.
Cheers to all my brothers and sisters from other mothers and fathers!!
